Worst Dating Mistakes (Part 2)
Last week I outlined the first five of 10 of the worst
dating mistakes singles make. To review, click here.
Here's a brief summary of Part 1:
Hiding who you are to fit into a relationship
Confusing the trappings of love for real love
Blaming relationship mishaps on the other person
Not allowing time to heal between relationships
Attraction means you are meant to be together
Today I'll round out the list of worst dating mistakes
singles make. There are some mistakes that may seem
obvious when you look back, but can be completely invisible
when you are in the thick of things.
6. Giving too much personal information too soon
Honesty is always the best policy. But too much honest,
personal information on the first few dates is a great
way to spoil a possible connection. Sharing too much
information too quickly is likely to leave both of you
feeling awkward, with one or both of you wanting to
leave the situation.
Once you are in a healthy loving relationship, you
will realize that a relationship needs time to develop
before it can handle the deeply personal information.
The longer the relationship has been around, the stronger
it will be and the more it can handle without breaking.
Having said this, do not withhold information that
would help the other person decide whether you are a
good match or not.
7. Seeing people as you want them to be instead
of who they really are
Have you ever started to date someone and thought he
or she was perfect...if only he made more money, or
got her life together, or got rid of an addiction/parents/old
relationship/etc? Do you try to change others into your
perfect image of them? If you do, you know this does
not end well.
Once you are in a healthy loving relationship, you
will realize the people who want to grow and change
will be the first to tell you how they are working on
growing and changing. They don't need you to be the
agent of change. If you try to move someone in a direction
they are not interested in going, it will take all of
your energy. Even then, you will likely fail because
it is your direction, not theirs. It's better to choose
people who you can love without changing them.
8. Believing a relationship is all you need to be
happy and to have a complete life
Thousands of singles are searching for THE relationship,
feeling as if it is their one key to a happy, fulfilled
life. Meanwhile, they are robbing themselves of that
happy, fulfilled life as it slips away day by day.
Once you are in a healthy loving relationship, you
will realize that although love is extremely important,
it is not the one thing that will fulfill you, complete
you, or satisfy you. The minute you really do create
a truly fulfilling life, you will attract love.
9. Making people wrong for who they were from the
start
Let's say you start dating someone and money is not
important to him or her, so much so that there is not
much of it coming in. Later in the relationship you
get angry because this same person does not have money.
Or you get into a relationship with a person who tells
you upfront that he or she is not interested in a committed
relationship, but only wants to date. Later you feel
frustrated and angry because you don't have a committed
relationship. The list of examples goes on.
Once you are in a healthy loving relationship, you
will realize people tell you who they are, what they
want, what they will and will not do, and how your relationship
will turn out right from the start. They might not tell
you this information verbally, but you will see it in
their actions or behaviors. You would do well to listen
and believe them.
10. Going too fast into a relationship
I frequently mention this dating mistake because it
is prevalent in our culture and encouraged by the way
the media portrays love. Simply stated, you cannot build
a relationship in 24 hours, a week, or even a month.
Even if you believe the two of you are meant to be together,
you should build your relationship slowly, instead of
rushing into it.
Once you are in a healthy loving relationship, you
will realize you simply cannot rush the process of relationship
building. And if you do rush in, you and your partner
will suffer the consequences.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
"(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling
relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs?
Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills
and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy
partnerships. Visit www.whatittakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free
weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
|
