Pulling Yourself into a Great Relationship
There are times in our lives when we feel our goals
and desires pulling us forward. Other times we feel
as though we are pushing to reach our goals.
To be pulled forward by a goal makes it more likely
that you will achieve it. When you are pulled forward,
serendipity happens, doors open, things seem easier.
It becomes more possible to achieve the things you want.
A goal pulls you forward when achieving it does not
create an internal conflict of interest. A goal pulls
you forward when it snugly fits who you are and what
you want. A goal pulls you forward when realizing it
seems likely.
If your goal, your desire, does not meet at least once
of the above criteria, you will find yourself pushing
toward your goal rather than being pulled by it. Pushing
toward a goal may still make it happen. But you will
be struggling, losing faith, getting disappointed and
hopeful intermittently, and expending a lot of energy
in the process. You may walk away in frustration before
you achieve what you want.
Needless to say, it is better, easier, to be pulled
forward by your goal, your desire.
So, are you being pulled toward or are you pushing
for your goal of attracting your ideal mate and creating
your ideal relationship?
Many singles and people in relationships are pushing
for a relationship. While some do attract and create
good relationships this way, the majority continues
struggling and getting disappointed. Those who give
up the struggle and allow themselves to be pulled attract
mates more quickly and easily.
How do you allow your desire for a healthy relationship
and a wonderful mate pull you forward? Follow the three
steps below.
1. Resolve the internal conflict of interest
Say to yourself, out loud, "I want to be in a wonderful
relationship," or something similar about your
goal. As you say this to yourself, notice how you feel.
Pay attention to any words or phrases that immediately
come to mind. You might hear yourself saying there are
no potential partners out there; I will get hurt; I
am afraid; no one will love me. You may also feel a
tightening in your gut, or some fear.
Write down the negative comments and the emotions.
Find resourceful ways to disprove them. Understand that
you cannot attract a loving partner if you think such
a partner does not exist. Dig into your emotions about
getting what you want and look at what is behind them.
What makes you afraid, sad, etc?
Get to a point where you can say what you want, out
loud, and all you feel is joy and excitement about the
possibilities of it.
2. Make sure the kind of partner and relationship
you are reaching for fits who you are
What kind of relationship do you want? What's most important
to you? What kind of a partner will fit you? You need
to be clear on the character traits you are seeking
so you can recognize the person when you see him or
her. Otherwise you will be choosing partners by chemistry
alone, which seldom if ever works out.
3. It is likely you will get the love you want
Can you believe it is likely you will have the love
you want? If you can't, then you probably won't find
that love. We don't usually try to achieve things we
think are unlikely. If believe it's impossible, you
will not take the necessary steps to make it possible.
This one is a major shift -- from resignation or searching,
to having the faith and the patience to do and learn
the necessary things to attract the love of your life.
Set your mind to having your relationship goals pull
you forward, and you are certain to realize your dream
relationship. If you need help with any of these steps,
you know I am here for you.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
"(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling
relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs?
Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills
and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy
partnerships. Visit www.whatittakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free
weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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