Online Dating Strategy:
How To Click
By Lisa Daily
Online dating has its perks. You can go man-shopping
at 3 am in your jammies. You can search out someone
who shares your adoration of Graham Norton, trashy tabloids
or argyle socks. And, thanks to your most fabulous date-ready
photo, you can do it all looking your best, 24 hours
a day.
Every day I get letters from my fabulous readers asking
about Internet dating. Does it really work?
Sure it does. Of course there's always a possibility
of meeting the Star Trek troll who lives with his mother,
or worse, other Star Trek trolls. The prison inmate.
The forgot-to-mention-she's-married. But for the most
part, online dating is still a great way to meet someone.
Here are a few tips to help you click online:
A Picture's Worth a Thousand Emails.
This is possibly your most important asset in successful
online dating. Most people will pass by a profile with
no photo - no matter how fabulous it may be. Most people
search for profiles with photos only. Dating is all
about chemistry, and nobody wants to end up with whoever
is behind door number three. Make sure your photo is
the best possible picture of you; feel free to crop
to get the best shot and pump up the contrast to add
a little excitement. (Try it, it adds an extra vaa-vaa-voom
to your picture - you'll just pop off the page.) Avoid
using pictures of you and other people, even if they're
blurred out. The message you're trying to send is fun,
sexy or interesting, not "witness protection program."
Another good trick - wear red in your photo, or use
a red background. It automatically makes you stand out
from the crowd and seem more exciting. (Works at a party
too...)
The Profile. Showing Your Fun Side.
Your profile is your second most important tool. The
key here is to use advertising principles to create
immediate interest and action. Here's what you need
to create a profile that pulls:
A snappy headline, three key points (it's not a resume
darling, it's small talk...) and a big finish. (Known
to advertising people as a "Call To Action.")
Try to avoid sounding needy or negative. (It's always
best to have a friend desperado-check your profile before
you post - especially a friend of the opposite sex.)
Avoid bad puns, clichés and pitiful jokes, such
as "Go Ahead, Click My Day" or anything that
sounds desperate like "Are You Prince Charming?"
or "Searching For Soulmate." Funny is good,
and frankly, nothing works better than humor to intrigue
and bring those eligibles flying into your inbox.
Here are some interesting ones:
"My dog needs a mom."
"Outdoorsman seeking good catch"
"The girl below me is a stalker"
Most people will click on a profile with a funny title
just to see what the person says next. And last but
not least, SPELLCHECK! The technology is there, sweets,
all you have to do is push the button.
Email Suave
Okay, so now you're ready to make contact. Emailing
a potential date is like flirting. You want to captivate
without giving everything away. Both humor and intrigue
are great ways to break the ice, and send those sparks
burning over the DSL. Start off your email with something
like "I noticed the most interesting thing about
you." Don't spill what the interesting thing was,
just use it as a teaser. They won't know if it's the
Haiku profile or their in-depth knowledge of macramé
that snagged you, but people are fundamentally curious.
It will gnaw at them until they write back and Bingo,
you've got contact.
Once again, it's important to keep your emails snappy
- short and charming. Go into too much depth and you'll
induce your online Romeo or Juliet to snores. In-depth
analysis of your feelings is what therapy is for - this,
my darlings, is flirting.
Another tip: don't send a barrage of emails to one
person, follow their pace and try to keep up. (If they
send 4 a week, you send 4 or so every week.)
Safety First!
Finally, never, NEVER give your personal information
out to a stranger, and although in traditional dating
settings a man should ALWAYS pick up his date at her
door, meeting someone you don't know is a different
situation entirely. Always remember to be safe, meet
at a public place, and take a friend if you can. Let
someone know where you'll be and when you'll be home,
and be sure to take your cell phone with you. Always
trust your instincts, and if a little voice is telling
you something's not right, pay attention and hit the
door.
Have faith and be safe - Eventually you'll meet someone
fantastic, and you'll just, well, click.
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you
need to know
to make men fall madly in love with you
At UK bookstores everywhere. As seen in/on Cosmopolitan,
Glamour and Hello!
Get our FREE Dating Tips newsletter - chock-full of man-snagging
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