The Man-tidote
By Lisa Daily
Watch out girls, there are a rash of new seduction
books on the market for men offering tips and tricks
on how to get a woman in bed without even dating her,
let alone investing in a commitment as deep as a cup
of coffee.
Now, as you all know, I'm quite the advocate for good
old love and romance, so I think it's pretty important
to be able to spot and neutralize these junior Romeos
before they pounce.
Whether you want to cut these guys off before they
ever make a move, or just send the signal that you're
not an easy target, we've got the Man-tidote.
1) Phone Tag and Other Games.
The one-night stand books are generally divided on whether
or not to ask for a woman's phone number. One school
(or detention center) of thought is that once a guy
has gotten what he wanted (sex) that there's no reason
for getting your phone number. Other books suggest what
I like to call "The Card Trick" - instead
of asking for your number, a guy will hand you his business
card, so he doesn't have to go out on the rejection
limb and ask for your number.
The Man-tidote:
A guy who is interested in you will either ask for your
phone number or have gained enough information about
you during your conversation to get it on his own (through
work, or mutual friends.) If a man hands you his card
without asking for your number, simply ask him for a
pen, write your number on the back of the card, and
return the card to him. That way, he'll not only have
your phone number, he'll know that you don't have his.
(Putting the ball in his court.)
2) Playing the Numbers
Many of these books suggest that a man has better odds
of getting sex by hitting on lots of women with the
intent of finding someone who will go for a one-night
stand versus asking a woman for her phone number, then
a date, and then campaigning for sex. One book suggests
that 20% of women in a club are looking for a one-night
stand, rationalizing that the remaining 80% must be
prudish, involved, or the insecure man's fallback, lesbians.
The Man-tidote:
Be part of the 80%. Make a policy not to go for one-night
stands.
3) Whispering in Your Ear
Another tip suggests men whisper in a woman's ear to
increase excitement, the excuse of course, being that
the club or bar is loud and he has to whisper for you
to hear him. He'll start about 9 or 10 inches from your
ear and gradually move in until his lips are almost
touching your ear. While this is an effective way of
initiating intimacy, remember that this guy may have
an ulterior motive, and that is to get him into position
for move #4.
The Man-tidote:
Pull your head away the first time he moves in to whisper,
signaling that you're not interested in that level of
intimacy with someone you've barely met.
4) Feeling You Up
As the player moves in for the whisper, he'll be holding
his drink in front of his own chest, knuckles outward.
As he leans in for the whisper he'll brush his knuckles
against your breast. This is, of course, all under the
guise of being purely unintentional, an accident. If
you don't haul off and smack him, he'll take it as a
green light to continue "accidentally" touching
you every minute or so. In my book this is the cheap
evolution of the cheesy 1950's move that high school
boys made when they pretended to yawn in order to put
an arm around a girl at the movies.
The Man-tidote:
There are two ways to put a halt to this, with body
language (cross your arm in front of your chest, creating
both a physical barrier and a strong "blocking"
signal) and with words. ("Careful, there"...
or "Ooops! You almost spilled your drink on me.")
5) "Let's get out of here"
The guiding principal behind most of these books is
that the guy will get a woman so thrilled and giddy
with connecting body language and covert touching that
you won't have enough time to make a rational decision
about whether or not you're interested, and that you'll
act (and go home with him) from a purely emotional level.
When he thinks you might be receptive, he'll ask if
he can give you a ride home or if you want to go somewhere
else.
The Man-tidote:
Don't leave a club with someone you've just met. First,
it's not safe. Second, your perfect excuse is always,
"Sorry, I'm sticking with my friends." And
third, if a guy is really interested in dating you,
he'll ask for your phone number before he leaves.
Remember, most guys are pretty genuine and just as
interested in dating and meeting someone special as
women are.
As for the guys who aren't - Well, just be sure to
keep your eye out for sharks in the dating pool.
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you
need to know
to make men fall madly in love with you
At UK bookstores everywhere. As seen in/on Cosmopolitan,
Glamour and Hello!
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