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Dear Dr. Neder,
I have a question regarding the exchange of a
phone number after meeting a female. In my way
of thinking, my mother taught me it is better
to give than to receive. Because of this I have
a habit of giving my number to the female rather
then asking for hers. The disadvantage to that
is obvious; it puts her on control. She may never
call, and there's nothing you can do about it.
I thought about it for a minute then though and
I said, "but if she calls then you know she
has a genuine interest in you."
Do women prefer to give their number opposed
to receiving a number? Or is there a difference
either way? Traditionally I suppose the man calls
the woman, but I've never been much of a traditionalist.
Thank you for your help!
Hello!
Did your mother also tell you that it was better
to remain celibate than to actually have a sex
life? Well, that's what giving your number to
women is going to lead to!
The fact is that women won't call you back! There
are a number of reasons behind this, but the fact
remains despite the reasons. Women know it's YOUR
job to call THEM, not the other way around. So
much for equality, eh?
I was my doctor's office the other day and was
chatting up his receptionist. She had just finished
checking her messages on her cell phone and was
visibly excited because some guy she had met a
few days before left her a message. So, I asked
her, "Are you going to call him back?"
She said, "Oh no! I never call guys back!"
So I then said, "But you obviously seem interested
in him, why wouldn't you call back someone you
want to see again?" She replied, "Because
then he'd know I was interested in him!"
See what's happening here? She's really interested
in this guy, but wants to keep him off balance
and thus won't call him - she expects him to do
all the work!
What you're doing is trying to avoid rejection,
and frankly it's a good way to accomplish that
goal. However, it's a very bad way to actually
meet women and get dates. You're going to have
to decide which is more important: your fear of
rejection, or your need for companionship, love
and sex.
Best Regards...
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Have a love, relationship, sex or man/woman question?
I answer all email. You can write to me at dwneder@beingaman.com
for answers. For more information about my book,
"Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:
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Copyright (c) 2003, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
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